I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
