you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
