OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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