I wish my penis had an off switch
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
