non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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