Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
