And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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