vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
