It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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