This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
