I'm lost and stupid without you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I sprained my soul last night
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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