dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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