If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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