And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
do nipples grow back?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
