The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
