The maid of honor just puked.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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