oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
