I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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