I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
