found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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