just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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