Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
