people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
