she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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