I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
