filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
