It was confusing and full of hummus
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
