Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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