Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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