What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
