"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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