Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
