I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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