she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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