I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just had sex on a roof
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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