so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
