I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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