Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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