i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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