i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
