Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
