"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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