so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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