At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
