Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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