her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
