Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
