The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
