I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
