he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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